Your result for The 100 Point Sexual Purity Test...
28% pure: Decidedly Perverted
You are just 28% sexually pure!
12 June 2009
21 April 2009
Employee of the Year!
Sounds kind of weird but I won this award, Employee of te Year from Jewish Vocational Service. There were 1200 people from the business community at a luncheon held at the Jukebox Marriot in San Francisco. Here is my acceptance speech.
When I tell people I work at CW Forensics, they usually think I'm like one of those detectives on CSI, examining dead bodies. Then I tell them the kind of living people I actually work with, and their eyes grow even wider.
You might think that working where I do would be difficult and draining, but the truth is, I love it. Previously I have worked in financial services, investing money for people. Before that I worked in jury trial consulting, helping lawyers in high risk litigation. Never have I had a job that was as satisfying as the one I have now. I feel privileged to work with people who have gone through so much, and are working so hard to improve their lives. Their striving is an inspiration for me. It is gratifying to know that the work I do makes a difference in my clients lives. Because of my work, fewer people are wasting away in jails, prisons, and mental hospitals or panhandling on the streets of San Francisco. I feel honored for my small part of their success.
There are so many people that helped me along the way. I want to thank a few of them today especially my supervisor, Greg, who has given me guidance and the freedom to create my own job. My colleagues in the Supported Employment program; Naomi, Caroline, Autry and Khary. All of you are a dream team! I also want to thank all the Case Managers at CW Forensics for their huge commitment to our clients and our program director, Kathleen, whose tireless efforts keep the lights on. Finally, thank you to Wells Fargo for sponsoring this award and to JVS for supporting me in my job search. I will always be grateful.
When I tell people I work at CW Forensics, they usually think I'm like one of those detectives on CSI, examining dead bodies. Then I tell them the kind of living people I actually work with, and their eyes grow even wider.
You might think that working where I do would be difficult and draining, but the truth is, I love it. Previously I have worked in financial services, investing money for people. Before that I worked in jury trial consulting, helping lawyers in high risk litigation. Never have I had a job that was as satisfying as the one I have now. I feel privileged to work with people who have gone through so much, and are working so hard to improve their lives. Their striving is an inspiration for me. It is gratifying to know that the work I do makes a difference in my clients lives. Because of my work, fewer people are wasting away in jails, prisons, and mental hospitals or panhandling on the streets of San Francisco. I feel honored for my small part of their success.
There are so many people that helped me along the way. I want to thank a few of them today especially my supervisor, Greg, who has given me guidance and the freedom to create my own job. My colleagues in the Supported Employment program; Naomi, Caroline, Autry and Khary. All of you are a dream team! I also want to thank all the Case Managers at CW Forensics for their huge commitment to our clients and our program director, Kathleen, whose tireless efforts keep the lights on. Finally, thank you to Wells Fargo for sponsoring this award and to JVS for supporting me in my job search. I will always be grateful.
19 March 2009
Oh my!
My Goddess! I have a date tonight. The first in over a year and I'm positively thrilled. I've shyed away from men as they seem to treat me badly. Last night I met a bi-girl on okcupid. She wants to take me dancing! Maybe I can change from Ophelia to Titania. one can only hope!
20 October 2008
Playing God
"A man who sets out to make himself up is taking on the Creators role, according to one way of seeing things; he's unnatural, a blasphemer, an abominations of abominations. From another angle you could see pathos in him, heroism in his struggle, in his willingness to risk: not all mutants survive. Or, consider him sociologically: most migrants learn and become disguises. Our own false descriptions to counter the falsehoods invinted about us, concealing for reasons of security our secret selves.The Satanic Verses - Salman Rushdie
A man who invents himself needs someone to believe in him, to prove he's managed it. Playing God again, you could say. Or you could come down a few notches and think of Tinkerbell; Fairies don't exist if children don't clap their hands. Or you might simply say: it's just like a man."
read this passage this morning and it seemed to address so many different parts of the transgender experience: the hatred of the religeous right, creating a new identity and the need to pass. It's left me with food for thought and I'm wondering if anyone sees things in it I missed.
23 June 2008
Posthumous Coquetry
When I die, before sealing
my coffin, paint
a bit of rouge on my cheeks,
a bit of black lining around my eyes.
Because in my casket,
as on the evening he confessed,
I want to stay rosy forever,
with kohl blackness around my blue eyes.
Pose me without the sallowness of immortality,
without a pillow embroidered with tears,
on my pillow of lace,
which my tresses inundate.
On wild nights, that pillow
saw our brows together as we slept,
and on the black sheets of our gondola
counted our infinite kisses.
In my pale waxy hands
reunited in prayer,
wind the opal rosary
blessed by the Pope of Rome.
I will unstring it in the bed
from which nothing rises again.
His mouth will place on my mouth
each Pater Noster and each Ave Maria.
Théophile Gautier
my coffin, paint
a bit of rouge on my cheeks,
a bit of black lining around my eyes.
Because in my casket,
as on the evening he confessed,
I want to stay rosy forever,
with kohl blackness around my blue eyes.
Pose me without the sallowness of immortality,
without a pillow embroidered with tears,
on my pillow of lace,
which my tresses inundate.
On wild nights, that pillow
saw our brows together as we slept,
and on the black sheets of our gondola
counted our infinite kisses.
In my pale waxy hands
reunited in prayer,
wind the opal rosary
blessed by the Pope of Rome.
I will unstring it in the bed
from which nothing rises again.
His mouth will place on my mouth
each Pater Noster and each Ave Maria.
Théophile Gautier
09 June 2008
The Gloom
When people think of dieing, they think of something in the final days of their existance. But that's not true. The moment we stop growing, we begin to die. Inperceptibly at first a lost hair, I line at the corner of one's smile. Then it accelerates, faster and faster the aches and pains accumulate. You can't eat this or you can't drink that. Your body just can't handle it anymore, By the time we check into the hospital for that final attempt to stave off the inevitable, death is already a fait accompli. All that's left is to close the eyes that one last time.
26 May 2008
The Elevator
Last monday I went to see my internist. She’s the doctor that attends to all my medical needs besides specialized liver stuff, the domain of my hepatologist. This was a follow up visit. I have them every 6 months now that I’ve been stable for so long. What we do is look at blood work relating to my overall health and how my hormone therapy is affecting the inside of my body. Everything was good on those fronts, except I’d put on a couple kilograms since November that I need to work on. An abdominal CT later this week and I’m clear for another 6 months.
While I was in the waiting room there was a man who was being kind of inappropriate towards me. It wasn’t that he was ugly, in fact some women might consider him attractive. I would guess his age to be mid to late 30s. What turned me off was his hygiene was a bit rough, like he hadn’t showered in a few days. He also looked like he’d just come from a party at 10:00 in the morning. Maybe hungover or still under the influence.
I was reading a magazine when he entered the room and shouted, “Hello, how you doing?” to me from across the room. I looked up and smiled and went back to my magazine. I caught him leering at me a couple times when I was called into the exam room.
When the doctor and I had finished I went to the reception desk to make a follow up appointment for November. While I was doing that Prince Charming came out from his doctor visit. He was accompanied by an older man that I presumed to be his father. Once again he looked me up and down. I rushed catch an elevator out of there!
In the elevator lobby the two men approached. They were having an animated conversation about where they were going next. When the elevator door opened I stepped in. It was only 5 floors to the bottom and with Dad present Junior couldn’t give me to bad a time. I would be safe. Then he stepped into the car and said to the older man, “wait here. I’ll go get the car. The adrenaline started pumping. Before transition I would not have considered this man a threat even if he were openly hostile to me. Now I was scared.
Dad stopped the door and the continued their discussion. Dad finally decided to join us for the ride down. Relief! When we hit the main floor I let them exit ahead of me. As they went through the front door, Junior looked over his shoulder leered at me and made a kiss toward me. Later that night I shared this story with a (natal) girlfriend of mine. She gave me a knowing smile and said, " Welcome to my world".
While I was in the waiting room there was a man who was being kind of inappropriate towards me. It wasn’t that he was ugly, in fact some women might consider him attractive. I would guess his age to be mid to late 30s. What turned me off was his hygiene was a bit rough, like he hadn’t showered in a few days. He also looked like he’d just come from a party at 10:00 in the morning. Maybe hungover or still under the influence.
I was reading a magazine when he entered the room and shouted, “Hello, how you doing?” to me from across the room. I looked up and smiled and went back to my magazine. I caught him leering at me a couple times when I was called into the exam room.
When the doctor and I had finished I went to the reception desk to make a follow up appointment for November. While I was doing that Prince Charming came out from his doctor visit. He was accompanied by an older man that I presumed to be his father. Once again he looked me up and down. I rushed catch an elevator out of there!
In the elevator lobby the two men approached. They were having an animated conversation about where they were going next. When the elevator door opened I stepped in. It was only 5 floors to the bottom and with Dad present Junior couldn’t give me to bad a time. I would be safe. Then he stepped into the car and said to the older man, “wait here. I’ll go get the car. The adrenaline started pumping. Before transition I would not have considered this man a threat even if he were openly hostile to me. Now I was scared.
Dad stopped the door and the continued their discussion. Dad finally decided to join us for the ride down. Relief! When we hit the main floor I let them exit ahead of me. As they went through the front door, Junior looked over his shoulder leered at me and made a kiss toward me. Later that night I shared this story with a (natal) girlfriend of mine. She gave me a knowing smile and said, " Welcome to my world".
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